


A Series of Really Weird Events

by funkyfreshgod



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, KEVIN FREAKIN KNITS, abby just wants her wonton to soup ratio, erin is like the ultimate mom friend, he just wants them all to meet his cute unnamed boyfriend, holtzmann is a troublemaker, kevin is a sweet lil puppy, patty just goes with it, sue me, the toltzmann isn't....... yet, the yatesbert is established, who eventually gets a name, yes I tagged the dog as a character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7859791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkyfreshgod/pseuds/funkyfreshgod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a series of related, but random vignettes and looks into the life of the Ghostbusters and what happens after they save the city.</p><p>-----</p><p>Feel free to send me prompts on my tumblr: funkyfreshgod</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sunday Funday

**Author's Note:**

> Ghostbusters was so gay and I saw it twice in a span of two days and I am so so so gay lord help me.
> 
> Also, I immediately saw Holtzmann as autistic and Erin as having anxiety, two things which I tried to incorporate into this work as well as possible.
> 
> NOTE: hit me up on tumblr @funkyfreshgod

There were four very different moods at the firehouse one week from the whole "Rowan Incident", as Holtzmann had dubbed it.

Erin was extremely tired, worn down, and constantly zoning out (she had been trying to figure out how on Earth she kept getting slimed, which took all-nighters).

Abby was elated (someone had sent her an entire box of fortune cookies).

Patty was excited (mainly about the new books she had acquired from many thankful parties, but that's beside the point).

Holtzmann was pumped for something entirely different...

\-----

"KEVIN MADE US SWEATERS!"

Patty flinched at the sound of Holtzmann's voice.

"Holtzy, please, for the love of my decent hearing, lower your voice just a touch," she said, carefully closing the book she was reading. "Also, for the love of God, sweaters already?!"

Patty looked up to see a giddy Holtzmann jumping around in an oversized sweater that had caricatures of tiny ghosts all over it. She couldn't help but smile at the sight. Maybe it wasn't too soon for sweaters. After all, Kevin always had the A/C cranked up to the highest possible cold setting.

"ERIN! GET DOWN HERE!"

Patty laughed as a slightly miffed-looking Erin came down the pole, followed by Abby, who did a very impressive twirl.

"Sorry for so rudely interrupting your impromptu make-out session, but I just had to share this great news with you two," Holtzmann said, flapping an overly long sleeve in Erin's face.

Erin blushed profusely, but smiled, as Abby grinned.

"Okay, yeah, so, Kevin made us these _super_ cool sweaters and they're great..." Holtzmann trailed off, trying to think of other adjectives to describe the fluffy monstrosity she was currently drowning in.

Patty walked over and touched one of the ginormous sleeves. "Wow, that's soft!"

At that moment, Kevin walked in, arms overflowing with sweaters of varying sizes and designs.

"Hi guys!" he said cheerfully, throwing the pile of sweaters at Patty's feet. "I made you-saved-the-world gifts!"

Patty carefully picked up the sweater laying on top of the pile. On it was embroidered a bunch of little wontons and soup containers.

"Oh this one is obviously Abby's," Patty said with a laugh.

Holtzmann nodded in agreement and waved Abby over.

As Abby examined her sweater, laughing over how detailed the wontons were, Erin began to look over the remaining sweaters.

She held one up and laughed at its design. It was a bunch of saxophones and tiny cartoon Kevins. "Is this yours, Kev?" she asked.

"Oh, no, that one's for my boyfriend," Kevin stated, taking it from her and looking at it lovingly.

"You have a boyfriend?" Holtzmann asked casually.

Kevin looked up for a moment, and then ran off.

"What the--" Patty began.

She was cut off by Kevin returning with his arms full of picture frames and pieces of paper. He began passing them out to the group, who looked at them intently.

The picture frames had pictures of Kevin with an unfamiliar man who seemed extremely happy and was holding a spatula. The pieces of paper were stick figure drawings of Kevin and aforementioned curly-haired man holding hands.

Holtzmann leaned over to whisper in Patty's ear. "How much you wanna bet that the spatula is his boyfriend?"

Patty snorted and handed Kevin back his pictures.

"That's great, Kev," she said.

"I want you guys to meet him, y'know?" Kevin said, hugging a picture frame.

By this time, Abby had pulled on her sweater and Erin had found hers and she was laughing into Abby's shoulder.

Patty looked down at the last sweater. It was hers and it had little book designs all over it with hourglasses scattered around. She loved it.

"What's up with yours, Erin?" Holtzmann asked.

Erin held it up.

There was a single embroidered caricature on it.

 

It was Erin... with muscles bigger than her head.


	2. Monday Done-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kevin knits himself a three mile long scarf, Holtzmann buys flowers for an unknown someone, Erin and Abby kind of cook, and Patty is the only sane person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the two lovely people who left comments on the first chapter.
> 
> it really means a lot.
> 
> now here: have a slice of weirdness.

After the whole sweater fiasco, Kevin announced that he was going to begin using his knitting skills elsewhere.

And by elsewhere, he meant knitting himself a scarf.

But he didn't stop when it was the appropriate length.

He kept going.

\----------

"Dear sweet, sweet Kev," Holtzmann said with a sigh. "That scarf is far too long to be in my lab."

Kevin looked up and adjusted his glasses. "But if there's a fire, we can like put it on top of it."

Holtzmann and Patty shared a glance.

"Uh... no," Patty said, just as Holtzmann said, "MAYBE..."

"Holtzy, no!"

"But- but, it's not TOO flammable!"

"WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?!" came Abby's voice from the first floor. "I'M TRYING TO COOK DOWN HERE!"

Holtz looked wide-eyed at Patty.

"Abby can cook?" Patty asked.

Holtz just shook her head. "I had no idea. She's been living on imperfect take-out since I met her."

Patty went wide-eyed as well. "OH NO--"

A loud explosion rang out from below as Patty and Holtz rushed to slide down the pole. As soon as they made it to the bottom, they spotted two figures hacking and coughing and fumbling around through the large smoke cloud that was currently taking up the entire first floor.

"Abby, I swear to God, if you tried cooking my filet mi--" Patty started, ready to berate her cooking-challenged friend.

"No, no, Patty don't worry, it was just something minor," Abby said, coughing and waving smoke away from her face.

Erin emerged from the smokey haze next to her, red in the face and choking. "Y-yeah, it was j-just some eggs," she said, coughing as well.

"EGGS?! HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPLODE EGGS?!"

\----------

After recovering from the explosion (or, as Holtz dubbed it, the "eggs-plosion", much to Abby's chagrin), Erin and Abby vowed to never cook again.

Of course, only three hours later, they tried again.

But this time was worse.

Holtzmann was seated comfortably in a giant cushy armchair, waiting for Patty to return with the take-out, when she smelled it.

"Hey, Kev," she asked. "You smell that?"

Kevin looked up from his now four and a half foot long scarf and sniffed the air. "Yeah. Smells like someone's cooking a shoe."

Holtzmann sniffed again. "How do you-- you know what, I don't wanna know. ABBY!"

\----------

As it turns out, Abby was _not_ cooking a shoe.

She was making toast.

As Holtzmann put it: "Abby, even I, a crazy engineer who makes things explode and combust on a daily basis, can make toast."

Abby, needless to say, was resigned to her fate.

Erin, on the other hand, was not exactly so resigned. In fact, she could actually cook.

This impressed Holtzmann and Patty _very_ much. So much that they designated her as the team chef.

"YOU ARE A GIFT TO MANKIND, GILBERT!" Holtzmann shouted at dinner one night.

Erin blushed, smiled, and looked down at her hands.

Abby patted her hand and smiled straight at her. "Erin, honey, you've got the cooking skills of one of those Iron Chefs. And trust me, that's saying something."

"Yeah, trust Abby. She's like the reincarnation of a snobby French food critic," Holtzmann said, mouth full of casserole.

Patty snorted as Abby huffed in indignation.

\----------

Patty found flowers on Holtzmann's desk later that night... She wondered who they were for...

\----------

"GUYS! Guess who's here?!"

Kevin's voice rang out through the firehouse.

Ever since the entire crew had moved into the firehouse, they had grown accustomed to Kevin waking them up at ungodly hours over trivial things.

They really didn't mind.

Patty stumbled out of her bedroom, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"Kev, it's four in the morning," she muttered.

But when she saw who Kevin had brought, she (and Holtzmann, who had just fallen face-first out of her bedroom and had a weighted blanket draped around her shoulders, her goggles haphazardly hanging around her neck, who had just joined her) brightened up immediately.

Kevin had brought his dog.

It was Michael Hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anybody got any name ideas for Kevin's beautiful boyfriend?


	3. Tuesday Bruise-Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which one of our fair heroes discovers something! *loud gasp from the audience*
> 
> [short chapter today because I'm sick]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ech. i am late. woo. happy october-five-days-late. *drops dead*

"How do we tell Kevin that a giant German Shepherd isn't exactly the best thing to have in the lab?" Patty whispered fiercely to Holtzmann.

Holtz shrugged, looking clueless herself. "I honest to god have no idea."

Kevin was back to knitting his scarf, which was turning out to be... long (to say the least). Holtz wondered why it was so long. She had tried asking him, but all she got in return was a blank stare and a "Why not?"

She couldn't argue with that logic.

But now, with Mike Hat laying at Erin's feet, gnawing on a chew toy, and Kevin knitting the world's longest scarf, Holtz was beginning to wonder whether or not Kevin-Logic was a good thing right now. She considered throwing Kevin's knitting needles down the stairs, but she knew that wouldn't keep him out for long, as he had become Holtz's lab buddy and he felt a need to be in the lab with her... even when it was extremely dangerous.

So, Holtz did something even Patty wouldn't dare do.

She asked him to stop knitting when in the lab.

"HOLTZY, NO!"

"Sheesh, Pats, it's fine," Holtz said. "He's fine."

Kevin nodded. "I understand. Don't wanna catch fire, huh?" He grinned and began to put away his knitting.

Patty breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought he'd start crying. He loves his knitting, man."

Holtz shrugged. "I know him now. He's cool."

"Oh, yeah, Holtzy I wanted to ask--"

"INCOMING!"

Abby ran into the lab, holding a steaming containment unit that seemed ready to burst.

As they all jumped into action to help stabilize the unit, Patty began to wonder when (if ever) she would get to ask Holtzmann about who she got those flowers for.

\----------

When Patty finally got her chance, it was late at night and she was alone at the firehouse. Abby and Erin had gone to rent a movie and Holtzmann... Holtzmann was who-knows-where.

So, Patty decided to do some late-night reading, but first she needed to make a call.

As she walked to her office, she called up Holtzmann, intending to put her curious mind to rest.

_"Sup, Sir Pats-a-lot!"_

"Oh, honey, no, please... for the love of-- just no."

Holtzmann chuckled.

_"Just had to try it, Pats. So what's up? You kinda caught me in the middle of dumpster-diving."_

"Well," Patty said, pushing open the door to her office. "I kinda wanted to ask about those flowers you bought the other day. I was wond--"

Patty stopped dead in her tracks.

The aforementioned flowers were sitting atop her desk, a heart-shaped note attached to them.

_"Weeellll, I'm assuming you know now."_

"I sure do. I sure do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *still dead*

**Author's Note:**

> plz listen to whoomp there it is whenever holtz does something flirty
> 
> also I listened to this artist called Ghost'n'Ghost while writing this and it really gets ya in the mood


End file.
